Hyperion Posted May 16, 2011 Report Share Posted May 16, 2011 To help the new wave of incoming students from India, here are the properanswers to awkward questions asked everyday: Q. What does that red dot on women's forehead mean? A. Well, in ancient times, Indian men used to practice archery skillsby target practicing by aiming at their wife's red dot. In fact, that isone of the reasons why they had many wives. You see, once they masteredthe art of archery and hit the target.... Q. You're from India? I have read so much about the country. All thewonderful places, the forests, the snake charmers, the elephants. Do youstill use elephants for transportation? A. Absolutely. In fact we used to have our own elephant in our house.But later, we started participating in elephant-ride sharing schemeswith our neighbors, to save the air. You see elephants have an"emissions" problem..... Q. Does India have cars? A. No. We ride elephants to work. The government is trying toencourage ride-sharing schemes. Q. Does India have TV? A. No. We only have cable. Q. Are all Indians vegetarian? A. Yes. Even tigers are vegetarian in India. Q. How come you speak English so well? A. You see when the British were ruling India, they employed Indiansas servants. It took too long for the Indians to learn English. So theBritish isolated an "English-language" gene and infused theirservants' babies with it and since then all babies born are bornspeaking English. Q. Are you a Hindi? A. Yes. I am spoken everyday in Northern India. Q. Do you speak Hindu? A. Yes, I also speak Jewish, Islam and Christianity. Q. Is it true that everyone there is very corrupt? A. Yes, in fact, I had to bribe my parents so that they would let mego to school. Q. India is very hot, isn't it? A. It is so hot there that all the water boils spontaneously. That iswhy tea is such a popular drink in India. Q. Are there any business companies in India? A. No. All Indians live on the Gandhian principles ofself-sufficiency. We all make our own clothes and grow our own food.That is why you see all these thin skinny Indians -- it is is a lot ofhard work. Q. Indians cannot beef, huh? A. Cows provide milk which is a very essential part of Indian diet. Soeating cows is forbidden. However in order to decrease the population ofthe country, the government is trying to encourage everyone to eat humanmeat. Q. India is such a religious place. Do you meditate regularly? A. Yes, sometimes I meditate for weeks without food and drink. But itis difficult to keep my job, because I have to miss work when I meditatelike that. But the bosses there do the same thing. That is why thingsare so inefficient there. Q. I saw on TV that people there walk on burning coals. Why do they dothat? A. We don't have shoes. So we burn the bottom of our feet to make ithard so that we can walk. Q. Why do you sometimes wear Indian clothes to work? A. I prefer it to coming naked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Urban-Ninja Posted May 17, 2011 Report Share Posted May 17, 2011 Q. What does that red dot on women's forehead mean? A. Well, in ancient times, Indian men used to practice archery skills by target practicing by aiming at their wife's red dot. In fact, that is one of the reasons why they had many wives. You see, once they mastered the art of archery and hit the target.... i was under the impression this was relevant to one of the bodys main Shakra's, primarily the pineal gland? oh well, guess i was wrong, now that i think about it, archery makes much more sense.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeremych Posted May 17, 2011 Report Share Posted May 17, 2011 Haha nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pizza Posted May 19, 2011 Report Share Posted May 19, 2011 hahahah....i laughed so hard at this...the one that is by far most asked to me is if I speak HindU...but i let it pass... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tagtag Posted June 16, 2011 Report Share Posted June 16, 2011 So, do you are indian? North american? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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