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The Chicken


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q

why did the chicken cross the road?

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a

because it had been so horrendously genetically modified in a lab that it had taken on almost human-like intelligence. Growing up in the lab, among hippy scientists and political idealists talking about the socialist revolution and liberation he thought one day, one day, he would have his freedom. Later that year, in an act of civil defiance within the chicken coop, he refused to eat the chicken feed alloted to him. As the scientists opened the cage to seize the dissident chicken, he pecked him in the eye and liberated his brothers and sisters. However, the real world was not what the chicken had expected. The rampant commercialism he saw upon his release disillusioned the young chicken to the extent that he decided to take his own life. Rising in the morning, at his usual time at 6 a.m., he leaned over and kissed his wife delicately upon the cheek, a solitary tear running down his eye as he imagined the child he knew he would never meet. The chicken stepped into the cold london morning, the frost chaffing his cheeks, the sleet crashing against his breast. Taking one step onto the busy dual-carriageway, he closed his eyes and imagined heaven....

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As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."

She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!"

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